If you’ve ever been angry, and I’m sure you have, then you know exactly what Homer means when, in Iliad, he writes that, even to the wisest men, anger is sweeter than honey.

Have you observed that, when two people start shouting at one another, neither of them wants to stop? They are both impelled to escalate the argument and release more anger. Most of the time, both parties are even aware that they are crossing their limits with what they are saying, but they cannot stop themselves. This is why most arguments end in a completely different arena than the one they started in. And usually, the new arena is much more serious than the initial one.

To never be upset about anything, of course, is impossible. We’d be callow if we don’t acknowledge that. What matters, then, is not how one keeps anger at bay… but how one handles the emotion.

In Psycho-Cybernetics 365, Matt Furey tells us about the Zen monk who was asked if he ever gets angry. The monk’s answer to the question was: “Every day. But what used to make me angry for a few days or hours is now something I catch and neutralize within minutes.” The problem isn’t the number of times you get angry per day. The problem is you allowing the anger to extend and overstay its welcome.

Aristotle said something like, “It is easy to be angry, but it’s very hard to be angry with the right person, at the right time, and for the right reason.”

Like everything else, anger management takes practice.