Smoking an LFD Air Bender Chisel Maduro at Fat Monk in Dbayeh

Have a Cigar: La Flor Dominicana Air Bender Maduro Chisel

Name: La Flor Dominicana Air Bender Maduro Chisel

Country: Dominican Republic

Shape: Chisel

Size: (6 1/2 inches x 54)

Strength: Medium to Full

I believe I will pass out in a minute or two,
but, before that, I must confess a thing or two.

I have a big tendency to be a hedonist.
I was born to be one. Actually,
I am one,
and everyone knows it, including
my mother, my sister, and my wife.

Debauchery has always been a recurring word in my vocabulary.
I often send the word alone as a message
with only a question mark next to it.
And when my friend — or, to be more exact, my accomplice — receives it,
all he has to do is answer with a yes or a no.
“Debauchery?”
“Yes. I sure do hope so.”

If you know me, you know
I get carried away easily.
When it’s a song I love, I sing along.
And one beer can easily turn to five, or six, or twelve.
Same goes for whisky shots.

The room is spinning.
And now, the world is spinning,
and I feel like I’m the center of the universe.

Let me tell you about the smell of the night:
the beer, the whisky, the smoke,
and the perfumes worn by all these women
I cannot touch —
although, I do occasionally get a napkin
with a drawing of a heart, a phone number,
and a name on it.
But I leave them all on the bar top,
so that they know I’m not interested,
even though I am sometimes tempted.
I enjoy the smell of sweat and skin.
But when I howl, I howl at the moon, not them.

My impulses are my masters,
but I don’t follow them blindly.
I may follow the footsteps of drunkards,
but I’m always tightrope walking.
Never a wrong step, except maybe
the excessive drinking.
But that’s because I get carried away too easily.
Yes, I get carried away too easily.
I know, and I’m afraid.
I’m afraid
because I know what I’m capable of doing.
I have the power to ruin my life,
to destroy everything I have built so far
in an instant.

I go in and out of bars, in and out of bars,
and my fire is always burning —
there’s always a cigarette or a cigar
burning.

What am I really chasing?
Pleasure.
But not sex and not drugs.
It’s the feeling of drowning that I love…
You’ll never understand!

My life may not have any meaning,
but that doesn’t make me stop
dreaming.
That doesn’t make me stop
wanting.

The smoke is always dancing.
The smoke is always dancing.


Quotes from Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius – Quotes

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is a book that has been living on my desk for months, but it hasn’t been gathering dust like some of the other books I have on my desk. I actually frequently read from it, usually when I’m taking a short break from the computer screen. I rest my eyes reading beautiful quotes.

I’m not a stoic, but I guess there’s a little stoic in me whether I admit it or not. Moreover, I don’t know how or why, but there’s something subliminally Christian about Marcus Aurelius that I like. Reading lines from Meditations has a calming effect.

The first time I read Meditations was years ago. And I have underlined dozens of sentences. Most of the times, those are the sentences I read when I’m on my short breaks. They are either thoughts that I agree with or statements that trigger something in me.

Here are some of the quotes that I have underlined:

  • It is a king’s part to do good and be ill spoken of.
  • Perfection of character requires this, that you should live each day as though it were your last, and be neither excitable, nor lethargic, nor duplicitous.
  • Always live the finest of lives; and the power to do so lies in one’s soul, if one is indifferent to things indifferent.
  • I have often marveled at how everyone loves himself above all others, yet places less value on his own opinion of himself than that of everyone else.
  • Close is the time when you will forget all things; and close, too, the time when all will forget you.

September 8, 2022: Doing Well

In the back of a taxi cab. Window down. Wind in my beard. The sun shining in a turquoise sky.

Heading to the barbershop to get a haircut and trim my beard. After that, lunch with my wife. Chinese. And after that, work. Online meetings.

Actually, you know, I was just thinking, “Hard work got me somewhere, after all.” Here. It’s not the best place, and it’s not the worst. I could do better, and I’ll sure be trying that later.

But not today. Because tonight I got to pack. In the morning, I’ll be in Prague with my wife. Celebrating our one year wedding anniversary.

I can’t wait to get drunk with her, to get lost with her, and laugh, and love, and dance, and live.

I’ve done well. I’ve done very well. Can’t think of regrets.

It’s time to have some fun.