Name: Rocky Patel Fifty-Five Robusto

Country: Nicaragua

Shape: Figurado, Perfecto

Size: Robusto (5 1/2 inches x 55)

Strength: Medium to Full

I’ve been smoking and drinking for 10 days straight. The amount of cigars and alcoholic beverages I single-handedly consumed is more than what an army needs to celebrate a victory that concludes a long war.

I am in my Airbnb apartment in Yerevan right now, trying to kill a massive hangover. I’m on caffeine and painkillers. I could have a shot of vodka and make the headache go away. I’m tempted. But it’s 8:20 AM, and I’m no alcoholic. No, sir. I ain’t no alcoholic.

My wife is out getting her hair done while I’m here trying to sober up. It’s our friend’s wedding day today, and we have a lot of stuff to do. I’ll be suiting up shortly. Right after I finish this coffee I’m having. I would have liked to have my beard trimmed, but I couldn’t find a barber shop that opens before 10 AM. Nothing on Google Maps. At 10 AM, I’ll be heading to the villa where the groom is. We’ll be drinking and smoking cigars for sure.

I know I need to cut down. I need to take it easy. I know. But I’ll wait until the celebrations are over. I’ll wait until I’m back in Beirut, back home where I can lock myself in my home office and get lost in books.

Only books can keep me away from booze.